When a pet dies, these 3 well-meaning phrases often backfire — so, here’s what to say instead

After losing his cat, a thoughtless comment left a pet parent reeling and he shares wiser comfort words.

PUBLISHED 3 HOURS AGO

(L) Woman is sitting on sunny street with an empty pet carrier, (R) An Emotional woman shares her concerns with a friend. (Representative Cover Image Source: Getty Images | (L) invizbk, (R)SDI Productions)

A pet is always considered a family member across all households, but when it comes to grieving them, support from others can often feel backhanded. A fur parent has shared three common phrases people use to comfort grieving pet owners that do not serve their purpose and may even make the grieving person feel worse. They also suggested a few alternative statements that ensure the grieving person feels seen and acknowledged while finding their way through the mourning process, as reported by The Conversation.

Broken with grief female dog grieving owner holding the lovely pet collar and deep weeping about animal loss.(Representative Image Source: Getty Images | Solovyova) — Broken with grief female dog grieving owner holding the lovely pet collar and deep weeping about animal loss. (Representative Image Source: Getty Images | Solovyova)

Drawing from his personal experience, Brian N. Chin, the author, explained the societal dichotomy between grieving a pet and a human. Soon after losing his pet cat to cancer earlier this year, he was mourning when a colleague attempted to reassure him with a bland statement. “It’s just part of life,” the colleague said with a shrug, per the source. Even though he was grieving his late loyal companion, who had stuck by him through thick and thin, the remark felt like a dismissal of his emotions. Noting that many pet owners face similar experiences, he unveiled the phrases that may cause more harm than good.

Mature man helps younger man. (Representative Image Source: Getty Images | SDI Productions)

Most people try to reassure a grieving pet owner by saying, “It’s just a pet.” While a person surely knows their pet is not human, it’s certainly not the best thing to say in that moment. The remark directly suggests the bias in grieving an animal and a human. Often, the grief may seem excessive to some or unprofessional to others. What people do not understand is that the person is grieving the bond with their fur baby that had bloomed over years of life and hardships. A better choice is to simply acknowledge their pain with, “I’m sorry.”

Man cuddling with his dog on the couch at home - Representative Image Source: Getty Images | Photo by Westend61 — Man with his dog on the couch at home. (Representative Image Source: Getty Images | Photo by Westend61)

Another popular statement is “I know how you feel.” While some may intend it as reassurance, the remark often comes across as self-focused rather than empathetic. The mere statement shifts the attention from the hurt pet owner to the speaker. Instead, it is recommended that the person allow the pet parent to express their emotions and acknowledge their pain. “That sounds really hard,” or “I’m here if you want to talk,” are some of the kinder alternatives.

Girl Placing a Flower on Her Pet's Grave (Representative Image Source: Getty Images | Phillippe Lissac)

Finally, the third and most ungracious comment is, “You can always get another one.” This statement easily dismisses the suffering and emotions that come with the loss of a four-legged friend. The speaker may be trying to help the grieving person calm down and soothe. However, the insinuation that the pet can be replaced and the love restored seems harsh and unsympathetic. It is almost equal to telling a grieving mother to have another child or a person to find another partner. To offer support, one must acknowledge the person’s emotions by listening rather than trying to solve their problems.